I wasn't ready... (Part 1)
Yesterday I had the pleasure of assisting a friend on an assignment at a local nightclub in the Charlotte area and it was a very unique experience for me. It was my first time working with models in an attempt to produce those sexy almost boudoir styled photographs that would be used to promote the club. After it was all said and done, I was so excited to blog about it and talk to you guys about the importance of preparation. I went through the few shots I took and after a little post work I just called it a night.
December 12, 2013 8:25 am est...
I'm in the kitchen trying to feed my new puppy Rebel, making a cheese ball to hide her medicine, and trying to get my life together for my 9-5. Mom calls and everything seems fine.
"Have you heard the news"?
In that one instance, I envisioned a world full of light, gone cold after losing its flame. That light created by the fire was my beautiful Aunt Rosa Ann Myrick.
In my heart I knew that inevitably this day would come. I tried so hard to prepare; she had been sick for so long. She suffered from an aggressive stomach cancer that spread throughout her body and caused her such pain. I can remember listening to her voice just last week and she sounded like she was just so tired. So tired...
It wasn't until earlier this evening when the gravity of it all bore down on my heart and drowned me in a fistful of tears after seeing this picture of her on Facebook.
Even more so after I saw her last post.
I'm a believer that God works in mysterious ways. I was literally hours from traveling to Houston to go see her and due to adverse weather and my mom being her normal nervous self, when it comes to me driving long distance (love you mom), we decided not to go. I must say, I was blessed to see her back in my hood a few months ago. It wasn't in the best of conditions and I thought I might lose her there too but, we were able to enjoy each other and I was able to see her off. Hindsight is always 20/20 right? So now I'm thinking, maybe God didn't want me to see her in such poor health during her final hour. I think it would have broken my heart even more.
There are three things I take comfort in and they all come in the form of a photograph.
I take comfort in knowing you were able to see you sons thrive in life and watch them create their own beautiful families; which you were a part of.
I take comfort in remembering your strength. Despite everything you were going through you could still smile and have fun.
I take comfort knowing that you were are at peace. You don't have to hurt any more and the only tears you'll know are those of joy. I love you so much and you will be deeply missed.